Generous donations ease the pain of rebuilding

Sunday, June 5, 2005 Posted 8:14 EDT (0014 GMT) - Brad Watkins, Editor

Laguna Beach, Ca - Relief to Laguna Beach residents, still suffering from last weeks devastating landslide, came from an unlikely source Monday. Adult video performer TT Boy and his company, Evasive Angles, made a stop in the Orange County town, bringing gifts and money to displaced home owners.

“I was touched by the horrific images I saw on my television. I thought to myself, I need to do something, I need to help the folks affected by this tragedy,” commented Boy, “This is a great opportunity for me and my studio.”

TT Boy represents hope to many Laguna inhabitants who feel they've been neglected by city officials and greedy insurance companies.

“Don’t get me wrong, the Red Cross is a fine agency. I’m sure blankets and food are important, but what people really need at a time like this is, cold, hard, cash, and maybe a movie to take their minds off the destruction.”

“I’ve passed through the area many times and have always dreamed of shooting in the city’s lavish homes with their breathtaking vistas. Until now, my productions have not been welcome here, but catastrophes like this bring people together.”

“On behalf of TTB Productions and myself, TT Boy, I’ve offered residents who let me shoot on their properties, a generous donation of $25. This is money that can be used in the rebuilding process,” stated a proud Boy. “The reaction has been extremely positive. Home owners have rolled out the red carpet for me and my crew.”

Downed power lines and trees, crushed cars, numerous sink holes and two police barricades made it difficult for some performers attempting to reach the shooting location.

“These chicks have a million excuses for being late, it’s ok, I got one of the PA’s, who drives an old Ford Bronco, to shuttle people up and down the hill,” explained Boy, as he boiled water so the cast would have something to drink.

After the talent and crew signed some last minute liability waivers, TT Boy, standing in the relative safety of the driveway, voiced some final instructions through a broken window to performers inside the house.

“Listen up people,” shouted Boy through his megaphone, “There will be NO SMOKING on the set today, that means you too Genesis. There have been reports of gas leaks all over the area.”

“Normally that just means TT has had too much Taco Bell, but this time I think he means it,” noted a concerned crew member.

Adjusting his hard hat, Boy continued, “There are no bathrooms available, that part of the house fell into the ravine last Wednesday. If nature calls, and you must take a dump, please crap into the large fissure in the driveway.”

“Also, if you need to dispose of any douche or enema products, toss them off the RIGHT side of the balcony into the sink hole at the back of the house, not the LEFT, that part has no remaining support columns.”

Shooting had only been underway for a few minutes when TT Boy’s brother, Talon, came running outside naked, “Dude, this is crazy, the house is making some really weird noises, I think the garage is going to collapse!”

Boy was quick to respond, “Come over here you ungrateful little fuck,” as he put Talon into a headlock. “Are you shooting in the garage? NO, I didn’t think so. Let ME handle the details, you need to concentrate on banging that girl’s ass. Now, take your dick pills and get back in there.”

“But TT, the girls are scared out of their fuc...,” exclaimed Talon before Boy interrupted.

“Hey fuck-face, quiet down, I want this whole thing to look good for the press. Smile for that camera over there,” whispered TT Boy as he clenched Talon's neck.

A small number of curious neighbors and press had gathered outside the dilapidated home.

“He’s a good kid, I love him like a brother. His brain is always going 1000 mph though, he just needs to relax,” said Boy to the onlookers.

“Would anyone like a free movie?” asked TT, as he reached down into a cardboard box full of DVDs.

Area resident, Barbara Jenkins, commented on TT Boy’s generosity, “Right now I only have the clothes on my back. My house was red tagged and the Days Inn where I’m staying doesn’t have a DVD player. If I’m ever allowed back in my home, one of the first things I’m going to do is comb the rubble for my entertainment system and watch Orgy World: Brown and Round #6. Thank you Mr. Boy.”

“My racialist themed videos have always sold well down here in the OC,” noted Boy, who pointed to Laguna Beach’s explosive minority population growth, now estimated to be over .006%, as one of the reasons.

Shooting had just resumed when P.E.T.A.S. demonstrators (People for the Ethical Treatment of Adult Stars) showed up and attempted to disrupt the production.

“Oh fuck, not these assholes again,” grimaced TT Boy.

“Talent - Walk Off - The Set!, TT - Treats Performers - Like Shit!, Talent - Walk Off - The Set!, TT - Treats Performers - Like Shit!,” shouted protesters.

“This whole thing is a disgusting attempt by TT Boy to save thousands of dollars on location fees. He is preying on innocent landslide victims and putting the talent and crew in life threatening danger,” exclaimed Elijah Crabtree, P.E.T.A.S. spokesman.

Boy responded, “Hey you granola eatin, hippie motherfuckers! Suck my P.E.T.A.S.! When, I REPEAT, WHEN, have I ever put any of my performers in danger? This place is way nicer then some of the shit holes I’ve shot at in Brazil.”

Barring any legal challenges, “Poundin’ Tuna In Laguna,” will street July 12th.

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Related Links:

www.EvasiveAngles.com

www.TTBoy.com