|Adult Industry On Edge As Lube Oil Prices Surge To Record High, $20,153 Per Barrel
First time in history price per barrel has exceeded $20,000
Tuesday August 2, 2005 Posted 10:52 PM EDT (0252 GMT) - Brad Watkins, Editor
Chatsworth, Ca - Light sweet lube oil prices surged to a record $20,153 a barrel on Monday, sustaining a rally built on strong demand for sex lubricants and on concerns about refiners' ability to keep up. Leading adult industry investment banker Goldman Sacs has revised its 2006 forecast and warns the cost of a barrel could eventually top $25,000.
With no clear indication of when prices may stabilize, many adult performers and producers are preparing for the worst, forced to accept the reality that lube prices may never again fall to the $11 per 3.4 ounces seen in the late 1990’s.
Ironically, it’s the industry’s own insatiable consumption of sexual lubricants that has driven the cost per barrel to record highs. Commodities analysts point to the skyrocketing number of sex acts involving the rectum in recent adult videos as the primary explanation.
“A woman’s vaginal lubrication provides a natural alternative to non-renewable silicone based lubricant resources,” said David Norris, IEA consultant. (International Energy Agency)
“Sadly, vagina centric intercourse has fallen out of vogue with most porn film producers. The fundamental shift towards anal sex and penetration of the anus with various inanimate objects has left the adult industry perilously dependent on man-made lubricants.”
Norris continued, “Europeans have long felt the sting of high lube prices, paying nearly $35 per 3.4 ounces. As a result, they’ve developed more lube efficient adult videos. Apart from the sex oil rationing of the late 1970’s, Americans have enjoyed the cheapest, most abundant sexual lubricants of any industrialized porn producing nation, leading to a wasteful, lube guzzling society.”
With consumer demand for rectal sex acts at an all time high, adult industry analysts warn that it’s unlikely lube conservation efforts will succeed.
“It’s gotten out of control. We live in a society where DVD’s with 6 anal scenes are the norm and Americans wonder why we’re the target of global terrorism?” exclaimed Earth Liberation Front member (ELF), Tim Anderson.
“We’re gluttonous Western pigs. While Nigerians barely have enough lubricant to shoot a decent double penetration scene, Americans make videos like the Houston 500. Just limiting anal gang bangs to 60 or 70 participants would cut lube consumption by 30 or 40 barrels per year, but no, we continue to produce giant 100 guy lube guzzlers.”
In 2003 Anderson and 5 other ELF members were accused of burning down a Seattle area adult video store which specialized in “anal bang” films and other lube exhausting titles. Charges were later dropped due to lack of evidence.
Surprisingly, some in the pornography business agree with Anderson.
“As an industry we’ve gotten used to inexpensive lube, we’ve become very wasteful,” described veteran male performer, Mr. Marcus.
“I can’t tell you how many guys I see just dumping lube all over their dicks and on the ass and pussy. Half of it runs down the girl’s legs. If dudes would just take the time to arouse some of these women hundreds of barrels could be saved every year. The rising prices are a wake-up call.”
As with many issues affecting the porn industry, adult film producers prefer to regulate themselves, hoping to avoid government intervention. There has already been talk of a “lube guzzler tax” in the California State Assembly, which would be applied to videos deemed as “gross lube squanderers.”
A variety of lube conserving intercourse methods have been proposed but most are considered too risky to be widely adopted. One involved alternating anal penetration thrusts with strokes into the vagina, to make use of natural lubricants.
American porn companies do not deserve all of the blame for rising sex lubricant costs. China’s burgeoning adult video industry has increased demand for light, sweet lube oil while LPECR (Lube Producing and Exporting Countries Ring) has exceeded its own refining capacity and has no plans to build additional refineries.
Some porn company owners have petitioned Chatsworth, Ca. city officials to release some of its lube oil reserves in order to ease the crisis and stabilize prices. Other studios are using the rising costs as an excuse to “gouge” customers.
“It’s disgusting. The cost per barrel goes up and immediately you have firms jackin’ the price of their videos,” said adult industry watchdog Jamie Horton.
“Leisure Time has to be the worst offender. They know full well the scenes in their 8 hour comps were all shot prior to the surging lube prices. They’ve used the crisis as an excuse to rape retailers, raising the wholesale price of their compilations from 9 cents to 12 cents.”
“Ultimately consumers will suffer. Retailers will hike the cost of the comp videos another $5 to cover the 3 cent increase,” stated Horton.
When commodities hit record prices there are always shrewd investors who reap massive profits.
While his own company has bucked the “anal overload” trend, Vivid owner Steve Hirsch recognized the direction the industry was headed years ago and wisely invested in lube oil futures.
“Hirsch has always been a visionary but the rest of us shouldn’t lose any sleep over the current situation. We need to focus on education and conservation efforts,” stated Norris of the IEA.
“When adjusted for inflation, even the current $22 per 3.4 ounces of Eros lubricant is far from all time highs.”
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