Nick Manning Signed To Mainstream Endorsement Deal

Caterpillar executive, "We knew he was the perfect spokesman."

Thursday, June 2, 2005 Posted 1:54 PM EDT (1754 GMT) - Brad Watkins, Editor

Peoria, Ill. - In another sign the love affair between Madison Avenue and the porn industry continues to blossom, Caterpillar signed veteran adult performer, Nick Manning, to a three year, non-exclusive, endorsement deal.

The Illinois based heavy equipment manufacturer has developed an entire advertising campaign around it’s new spokesman and his catch phrase, Droppin Fuckin Loads.”

“My wife and I were familiar with Nick’s work from nights spent watching Playboy Television. Because the movies had the male orgasms edited out, I was unaware of Nick’s signature line. When the agency brought it to my attention, I knew it was a perfect fit,” said Caterpillar VP of Marketing, Richard Herns.

“Our job is to pair the right celebrities with the right products,” stated Jason Goldberg of Satchi, Satchi, and Ogilvie, a Manhattan based ad firm, best known for their New Coke campaign in the 1980’s.

“There is no formula. It’s a gut feeling, what works for one client may not work for another. Nick is a perfect example.”

“We spent several months developing an extensive campaign for one of our biggest clients, Lowes Home Improvement Centers. When we presented mockups for the Shoppin at Fuckin Lowes media blitz, their marketing executives were appalled, and have since severed ties with our agency. Nick just wasn’t the right fit for them.”

“Over the years, Caterpillar has invested millions into demographic research, hoping to better understand the lifestyles of our buyers. This data enables us to deliver an effective advertising message,” noted Herns.

“A few items have consistently topped the list of what most heavy equipment operators spend their disposable income on. Hardcore pornography is exceeded only by alcohol, tobacco products, and sporting goods such as fishing rods and bowling balls.”

“Cat customers are hardworking, humble, blue collar kinds of guys and we think they will identify with Manning. We’ve done our job if consumers see Nick in a porno movie, such as Anal Addicts 16 and think, Caterpillar,” beamed Goldberg.

in 1999 Manning took the adult industry by storm with adonis good looks and his then fledgling catch phrase, “Droppin Loads.” His colleagues are not surprised by his recent success.

“I like to think of him as the Madonna of the porn world, he is constantly reinventing himself,” said Skye Blue, Manning’s new business partner.

“God, I remember the first time I shot him. When he said “Droppin Loads!” during the cumshot, many on the crew thought the scene was destroyed and would have to be redone, but I knew better.”

A few years later, Manning added ‘Fuckin’ to the phrase and history was made. “That was a real milestone in Nick’s career,” commented Blue.

At the time, some speculated Manning may be suffering from a mild form of Turret’s syndrome. Others went as far as to blame him for ruining the masturbation experience for an entire generation of porn buyers. Regardless, most of his coworkers agree, “Nick is an innovator, a misunderstood genius.”

“I thought Nick peaked back in 2002 but then he shocked us all again,” described Nicholas Steele, respected director for Adam and Eve. “He took it to the next level when he started pointing out exactly where his load was going to drop.”

“For example, if the talent was wearing glasses he might say, Droppin fuckin loads all over your fuckin glasses!" Sounds predictable right? Not so claims legendary Vivid director, Paul Thomas.

“I recently shot him with a new girl who wore bifocals and Nick's exact phrase was, Dropping fuckin loads on your fuckin spectacles! I remember it like it was yesterday, everyone on the set looked at each other, our jaws dropped.”

“I knew what we all were thinking, this guy is GOOD,” said Thomas. “The movie was a period piece set in the early 1800’s. Fucking brilliant.”

Not everybody is excited about the campaign. Conservative groups have threatened to boycott Caterpillar and protest at job sites. “Do they really think that’s a good idea, picketing in front of a 300 ton dump truck?” commented a Cat employee.

The 20 million dollar, “Droppin Fuckin Loads” campaign will feature print, television, and billboard advertisements, as well as merchandising and apparel. It has already launched in cites across the U.S.

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