Missing Alabama Teen, Natalee Holloway, Breaks Record Previously Held By Kurt Lockwood

Becomes only the third person in over 40 years to hold "zoom-ins" title

Wednesday June 22, 2005 Posted 1:06 PM EDT (1706 GMT) - Brad Watkins, Editor

Oranjestad, Aruba - We know what most readers are thinking, and the answer is No, Natalee Holloway did not even come close to breaking adult superstar Kurt Lockwood’s record of “unprotected anal intercourse with unique partners, male or female, in a two week period,” during her recent trip to the Caribbean island of Aruba.

“She has, however, bested a Lockwood mark that most people thought would never be broken,” stated Harry Parker, Sr. Editor, Guinness Book of World Records.

Viewers of cable talk show programs, such as the O’Reilly Factor, or MSNBC’s, Hardball With Chris Matthews, have become plenty familiar with the 3 photos of Natalee Holloway her family has provided news media. Each time her disappearance is discussed, these pictures are shown in an endless, “zoom-in, zoom-out, zoom-in...”, video montage that replaces the image of whomever is being interviewed at the time.

“It’s really unprecedented,” commented Andrea Weinberg of TV Guide. “I think the media assumed her body would be found in a few days. Looking back, they probably should have asked the family for more photos. Unfortunately, if this case is not solved soon, the public will continue to be tortured by the same graduation gown, yearbook photo, and generic snapshot of Natalee.”

“Massive interest in the case had led to thousands of hours of TV coverage. On Sunday, June 19th, it was officially confirmed, each of the three images had been zoomed into over 800 million times,” said Parker.

At that point there was no question a new record had been set. The previous mark, held by adult video performer Kurt Lockwood, stood for nearly a year.

“We never thought Kurt’s record would be broken, especially this quickly. His total of nearly 706 million zoom-ins shocked everyone in 2004, and it still continues to grow, thanks to his extensive advertising campaign, featuring delightful animated website banners,” described Parker.

In December 2004, Lockwood shattered the record which stood for over 40 years. The previous title holder, 1963’s Zapruder film, which captured the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, garnered approximately 687 million zoom-ins during it’s four decade reign.

Some feel that if the internet, and personal computers armed with video editing software had been available in the 1960’s, neither Lockwood nor Holloway would have even come close to besting the mark set by the assassination film.

“I don't agree with defenders of Zapruder, you have to give credit where it’s due. Both Lockwood and Holloway achieved something few thought was possible. They are pioneers who represent the “never say never” spirit Guinness has always stood for,” remarked Parker.

A spokesman for the Holloway family issued this statement: “Although we’ve seen the Zapruder film, we are not familiar with Mr. Lockwood’s work. We wish him all the best but hope the zoom-in record does not distract the public from our family’s goal, finding our daughter alive.”

Lockwood, still reeling from the news, had this to say, “Honestly, I don’t think you can compare the two records. For example, during the zoom-ins to her face, there is no high contrast lettering spelling out, NATALEE - HOLLOWAY, NATALEE - HOLLOWAY - NATALEE - HOLLOWAY...”

Kurt continued, “Also, while my sequences end with pleasant shots of my cock being fellated or resting near a woman’s semen covered abdomen, Natalee didn’t even get topless for her montage.”

Lockwood sees it as a temporary defeat and remains upbeat, “One of these days they are going to find her bloated, dismembered, lifeless corpse down there in Aruba. At that point the news media will probably lose interest, giving me a chance to regain the title. I know that would make my family and I feel a lot better.”

Holloway’s highschool classmate, Amber Peterson, summed up the emotion surrounding Natalee’s disappearance and subsequent zoom-in record, “Kurt is really cute and I kinda feel bad for him. We’ve been distraught over this whole situation. Natalee breaking the record is proof that every cloud does have a silver lining.”

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